


How the f**k was I supposed to know that you were under the table?

by MirandasMadeOfStone



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-30 04:54:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5151038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirandasMadeOfStone/pseuds/MirandasMadeOfStone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is one of the prompts from my “inspire me” list. I believe this one is for endemictoearth</p><p>I was going to write a whole lot more, as there’s clearly more to tell, but I like the ending.</p>
    </blockquote>





	How the f**k was I supposed to know that you were under the table?

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the prompts from my “inspire me” list. I believe this one is for endemictoearth
> 
> I was going to write a whole lot more, as there’s clearly more to tell, but I like the ending.

Another Saturday night, another party. Six months ago, had Rae been told her life would become a whirlwind of social events, she would have scoffed, perhaps snorted, and possibly, resorted to the cupboard of doom to retrieve some sugary treat. Those days were fast retreating to middle memory; a place far enough away not to burden her, yet remaining a distant possibility.

Once her friendship with Chloe had been slowly and steadily been rekindled, things had begun to change. A rainbow whirlwind of a girl called Izzy had made them a trio. With her friends at her side, college had become less threatening, and academically, her efforts were starting to be recognised and rewarded. Nonetheless, the bullies still lurked around corners and would catch her at weaker moments such that she remained no stranger to periodic bouts of frustrated tears in the toilets.

It seemed that, for the most part, her haters, had limited imagination when it came to taunting, and they had pretty much exhausted their resources. Their jibes were mainly limited to pedestrian cries of “jabba”, “whale” and the exceedingly tedious and repetitive “fatty”. These tended to bounce off the thicker skin, which she had somehow grown without really being fully cogniscent of it. However, periodically, a particularly vicious remark would penetrate her toughened exterior and leave her reeling for a few hours.

With the safeguard of her friends, these moments were becoming fewer and further between. Besides, she was continuing her sessions with her unconventional therapist- Kester, who was able to assist her to view the world in a different way. Those precious hours had helped her take a step back from the immediacy of emotional turmoil and try to gain a different perspective. It had taken some months for the groundwork to form something of a solid base, which could provide coping techniques that could be called upon, when faced head-on with a problem.

Tonight. Chop’s mate Archie was nominally hosting the party, though everybody knew that Chop was both the instigator and driving force behind their social calendar. Izzy and Chloe had met Chop and Archie down the pub one night a couple of months ago and their trio had quickly become part of a large group, comprising a load of lads in the second year at college; most of them played football together and they all seemed to value partying as their top priority.

Rae balanced herself in the corner of Archie’s parents’ kitchen units, pint of snakebite in hand as she listened to Chloe providing quiet commentary on everyone who was there. Little Al, Barney, Mussy, Flip and so in. As Pete’s name was mentioned, she took a large gulp of her drink and started to study the criss-cross pattern of her converse laces.

“Earth to Rae….earth to Rae!” Izzy’s voice chirruped gently.

As she glanced up, Chloe was looking straight at her, with her famous part pouty, part miffed face on. “I thought you liked Pete? I mean you kissed him at mine didn’t you?”

“Chlo.” Rae began in a tone rather fitting of a tired school teacher at the end of the day. “It was a game of spin the bottle. He was forced to kiss me and I had to kiss him back.”

“But you liked him didn’t you?”

“Ummm.” Rae made a non-committal noise.

“He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s not bad looking…” Chloe continued.

“He’s just not my type.” Rae interceded before Chloe started matchmaking yet again.

Pete had been a reasonable kisser, not that she had much to compare him too, but the kiss wasn’t anything special. She was also aware that something about him troubled her; it may have been the way his hands moved rather fast and very publically during that kiss, or perhaps it was the way she’d caught him looking at her ever since. On the couple of occasions he had sidled up to her at college and tried to start a conversation, she’d made something of an excuse and scuttled off as quickly as possible.

“Well what is your type then?” Chloe was insistent.

“I…uh…I don’t Chlo. Let’s have another a drink, yeah?” Rae placed her glass on the side and started to pour cider in. Sensing her friend was not about to let the subject drop, she decided to divert attention. “Well, who’ve you got your eye on then, Chlo?”

Chlo’s expression softened, dropping into a smile. “Well, there is one guy. He’s ridiculously fit; he’s got that moody vibe thing down to a t.”

Rae sighed and rolled her eyes. There could only be one person her friend was referring to. The inimitable grumpy tosser named Finn Nelson. He may have been so good looking with an arse that could make just about any woman weep, but he was also rude, curt and unbelievably arrogant when it came to music. Their paths had crossed at the jukebox in the pub and over stereo duties at a couple of previous parties. Every time it had ended in something of an argument, and one or the other of them walking off or huffing “whatever” under their breath.

“Have you actually had a conversation with him?” She asked, glancing at Chloe out of the side of her eyes.

“Yeah, of course. I mean I asked him at the pub if he was going to be coming tonight and he….”

Rae raised her eyebrows.

“Okay maybe not exactly. But he did smile at me. Sort of. And it’s been weeks since he broke up with Stacey…so he’s clearly back on the market.”

Aware that she was probably not going to win that debate, Rae turned to Izzy. “Do you think Chop’s finally going to make that move tonight Izz?”

Izzy frowned. “I…I don’t know. He seemed happy to see me and we’ve hugged.” She started to smile again.

Looking over at Chloe, Rae wondered when the couple, that weren’t actually a couple, would finally see what was staring at them straight in the face. Everyone thought it was happening at the last party when they had kissed during spin the bottle. But it seemed that the happy union was not to last beyond the game; both having reverted to being friends, who cuddled rather a lot. Chop was very protective over Izzy and would sit next to her at any given opportunity. He would also buy her coffee and walk her home at the end of a session in the pub. It was obvious to Rae that he treated Izzy differently to other girls, but would they ever make it out of the friend zone?

Her train of thought was interrupted by the most awful music known to mankind being blasted through the house at quite some volume.

“Come on let’s dance. I love the Backstreet Boys!” Chloe shouted joyously, trying to grab both her friends by the hands.

Giggling, Izzy accepted, but Rae vehemently shook her head.

“No bloody way Chlo. I’m er…I’m going to go outside for some fresh air.”

“Pretty please.” Her friend implored, already swaying her hips.

“I just can’t.” Rae stated firmly downing the remainder of her drink and quickly making for the door in front of her.

*****************************  
Rae pressed her back against the wall outside and took a few deep breaths. Feeling a little tired, she considered whether she should just go home. It had been a long week at college. One without her beloved Walkman, as her mother had confiscated it when she’d stayed out well past her midnight curfew, and rolled in stinking of booze after a lengthy session the previous weekend.

Yet, she reasoned that these were her friends and it could be a decent party, were she to gain control of the music. So she quietly opened the back door, but paused before crossing the threshold as she heard loud familiar voices.

“Come on Pete, the game’ll start without you.” Barney slurred.

“Just checking that Rae isn’t down here.”

“Are you interested in her?”

“Well, you know the deal with fat birds. Always grateful for any attention they receive” Pete responded with a lewd tone.

“Ugh. You can’t say that.”

“What? You know it’s true don’t you. It’s not as if I’ve seen you getting any action recently mate. You should take a leaf out of my book. Practice on what you can get your hands on and…”

“Do’you know what? You’re a complete tosser. It’s bad enough talking like that, but about Rae? She’s a top girl….”

“Yeah but you’re not blind are you?”

“Fuck off you wanker.”

Carefully, Rae pulled the door to and started to count to ten, thankful that she hadn’t run off home at Pete’s first cruel put down, otherwise she wouldn’t have come to realise that she had made an impression on the whole group. Nonetheless, having her suspicions about creepy Pete being confirmed was still something of a blow. Something that made her stomach clench and her palms a little sweaty.

When she was satisfied that downstairs was quiet, Rae slipped back into the kitchen and mixed yet another drink. Wincing at the music that was still playing, she decided that was at least something she could fix. The stereo was situated next to the dining room table, which was covered with a large oil cloth, pushed against the wall and littered with drinks and snacks. Bending down, she found several mix tapes scattered across the floor. Picking up the first, she examined the inner sleeve and a small smile played on her lips. The track listing wasn’t exactly what she would have chosen, but it contained a number of stonking tunes that she would be more than happy to listen to.

She was so engrossed in the second sleeve, that Chloe’s dulcet tones calling her name, took her by surprise. Much as she was refusing to let Pete’s words affect her, she really didn’t feel like playing spin the bottle at that moment. Listening to some decent tunes and chilling out was far more herself. So, she did what any rational, sensible human would do given the circumstances; she dived under the table.

Heart pounding, she passed a few nervous moments as Chloe called her name a couple of times, before a voice she recognised as Archie’s persuaded her friend to re-join the crowd upstairs, promising he would have a look in a few minutes.

Making the most of the empty room, Rae took the second mix tape and gently popped it into the cassette player. As “Roll With It” began to suffuse the room, she started to sing softly and tapped her hand against her thigh in time with the beat. Stretching her legs out in front of her as the third song started, she smiled and was just beginning to relax as loud footsteps thudded down the stairs. Without thought, she pulled her legs back under the table into a cross-legged position.

A bump on, and wobble of, the table told her someone was now sitting directly above her.

“Do you want a beer?” Rae recognised Archie’s voice, which was followed by a grunt.

“I’ll take that a yes then.”

Rae watched Archie’s shoes move off in the direction of the kitchen. As she was waiting for them to return, she felt a rhythmic tapping on the table above her head.

“Right here you are grumpy.” Archie stated flatly.

“Ta.”

Rae thought she recognised that accent in that single syllable.

“Mate they all want you come back upstairs.”

“I’m going home if I have to play spin tha’ fucking bottle once more.”

“But there are plenty of girls who have been asking for you.”

“And?”

“You could at least have a couple of turns. It’s only a game.”

“I don’t want ta kiss anybody.”

“There are some good looking girls up there Finn…”

I’m sick and bloody tired of kissing girls I don’t even fancy.”

“That’s how the game goes Finn. Remember how you had to kiss Chop last time!”

“I don’t care. It’s just not fun anymore. Besides I really don’t like any of them.” He grumbled.

“Not even Anna? Or Chloe?”

“Nah. They’re alright. Chlo’s a mate but that’s all. And you know how I feel about kissing me mates.”

“Alright. Point taken. You could at least come back upstairs. That’s where the party’s at. Nobody’s down here.”

“No offence but I’m going to stay down here and have a smoke and chill to some tunes for a bit.”

“Alright then.” Archie sighed.

Rae heard lighter footsteps bouncing up the stairs and then some rustling above her, followed by the familiar smell of cigarette smoke. Oh bollocks. She was trapped for goodness knows how long, unless she was prepared to speak to Mr Mardy-Arse himself. Hardly an enthralling prospect, given they were bound to wind each other up within seconds. Staying put it was. At least the music was decent. But what would she do when she needed the toilet? She was midway working through her options - including chucking something to cause a distraction and running, when Primal Scream started to play.

And then she heard it. Finn bloody Nelson was singing along. He actually had a reasonable voice with a warm, if slightly gruff tone. How could she not have realised before that this was one of his mix tapes? She was proverbially kicking herself for this oversight when the table started to sway and a boot connected firmly with her cheekbone.

“Ahhhh” She promptly clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle any further noise, despite the pain.

As her vision blurred, she tried to concentrate on the gospel style backing section of the track that was now playing. Closing her eyes, she heard rather than saw two boots hitting the floor.

“Erm…err is there anyone…hello?” His voice was quiet and unassured.

Biting her lip, she remained still. But before she could fully register what was happening, there he was on his hands and knees looking under the table.

“May?” His eyebrows knitted together.

“My name’s Rae. How many fucking times….” She broke off and winced.

“You….you ok?” His brow was furrowed as he ran a hand through the back of his hair.

“What do you shitting think? You just kicked me in the face you knobhead.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. “He stuttered.

“Yeah well you should be more careful with those fucking size-nines and not just swing them about willy-nilly.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that you were under the table?”

She was about to formulate some witty, yet barbed, riposte and moved her hand in preparation to let rip.

“Ouch.” Instinctively, the word left her lips.

“Shit.” He was leaning towards her now. “We need to put some ice on tha’ before it really swells up.” Briefly his face contorted, betraying an emotion that she had never thought him capable of.

“I’m fine.” She huffed.

“Come on.” He commanded in a low, soft voice, extending his hand towards her.

This brief altruistic cease-fire, was sufficiently perplexing, that Rae did, as was asked, without bickering back. Instead, her mind was occupied with the strangeness of holding his warm, yet calloused, hand as he lead them confidently out of the house and into the adjoining garage.

“What…” She began but stopped herself before she stated the obvious.

He dropped her hand and opened up the enormous chest freezer, gesturing at its contents with a huge grin on his face.

As he rummaged around inside, Rae tried to recall if she’d ever seen him smile properly before. He just looked, so - so? So different, she concluded.

“Aha got ya buggers!” He exclaimed, holding a bag of peas aloft in his hand like a trophy.

Before she was fully aware of what she was doing, Rae snatched the peas and pressed them firmly to her cheek and turned her back on Finn.

“No, no. Not like that.” His tone was firm as placed a hand on her arm in a futile attempt to turn her around.

Instinctually, she rocked her body away from his touch.

“Look.” His voice was calmer and quieter. “You don’t understand.”

All of a sudden, he was in front of her, flannel shirt in his hand. “It needs to be wrapped up. Ya can’t just put the peas right next to your skin.”

Carefully, he grasped the bag of peas, his eyes fixed on her face. The fingers of his other hand extended forward and trailed almost inadvertently down her cheek as he spoke.

“The skin beneath your eyes is really delicate.” He muttered, still transfixed. “You need ta be really careful with it.” Ever so gently he placed the peas wrapped in his shirt against her cheek.

They stood in silence for an indeterminate period of time, whilst both strained to hear what track was now playing in the house.

“Ughh. This is well cold.” Rae sulked a little petulantly.

Finn laughed. “Course ya numpty.” And then his hand was on her arm, steering her back to the chest freezer and helping her sit on the lid.

“I erm. I meant it’s cold out here. No heating.” She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Yeah. I’m not exactly sunning meself.” He replied rubbing his bare arms. “How’s about I sit next to ya. Body warmth and all tha’.”

She snorted, but patted the space next to her. Finn leapt up onto the freezer and bumped his shoulder against hers.

“What were you doing under the table?” His voice near a whisper.

“I…..I…I was listening to music.” She finished confidently.

“Yeah but…” One corner of his lip curled up in confusion. “Couldn’t ya have done that …on the sofa or on the table…..” His words trailed off as she pulled away from him. “Oh…oh I see. It’s a fuckin’ stupid game……”

Tentatively, his fingers reached out for her hand and began to stroke the back of it.

“Ya know, the only reason Chop’s started it, is because he’s looking for an excuse to snog Izzy.”

The giggle that escaped her lips, surprised Rae as it grew into a full blown laugh. “They are a hopeless pair.”

“You mean?”

Rae nodded. “She’s got it bad too!” Extending the arm which was holding the peas she sighed. “Fucking hell, getting cramp here.” She exclaimed popping the parcel on her lap.

“Ya can’t take it off now. Needs longer.” His voice was quiet again.

“Piggin’ got arm ache. It’ll be alright. Thanks for your…for helping.” She made to get up, but he quickly pulled her back down.

“Ya mustn’t take it off. Not yet.”

“For fuck’s sake. I’ve been holding them there for friggin’ ages.” She shivered and started rubbing her arms.

“Give ‘em here.” He picked up the peas but then looped his arm around her shoulder and tried to press them to her face but couldn’t quite reach her cheek. “You’re going to have ta…ummm….” He shuffled along so that their bodies were pressed tightly against each other. “Is…Is this ok?” He swallowed as he looked up at her.

Rae’s breath momentarily caught in her throat at the sight in front her. Finn really had the most incredible eyes; dark and full of concern, freckles were sprinkled over his face and he had the fullest lips. Shaking her head to try and regain a sense of reality, she found herself disappointed as he moved away mumbling “sorry”.

“No….I didn’t mean…it’s just….” She began, looking over to find him already on his feet, scowling a little and staring nervously at his boots. Seeing the boy she had always considered a cocky, confident lad like this, unnerved her. Had she misjudged him a little, or potentially got him completely wrong. Was he actually shy?

“I uh….if you wouldn’t mind….I wouldn’t.” She said quietly.

He turned his gaze on her frowning.

“You’ve got the peas dickhead.”

“Oh, oh right.” A small smile played across his lips.

“Well come on them. It is pissing cold in here after all.” 

Slowly he walked across the concrete floor and jumped back up on the freezer, taking the peas from her. Gently, he put the package against her face and then pulled her tight against him, wrapping her in his other arm. “This ok?” He whispered gruffly.

She nodded softly into his chest, words swallowed by his musky scent; one comprised of tobacco, beer, a little sweat and some unknown aftershave all piled on top of his own intoxicating smell.

She couldn’t be sure how long they had been sitting there, when she noticed the tremors running through his body, and the goose bumps on his arms. Her fingers tensed and stretched towards his arm twice before she finally dared to touch him and rub one of his arms.

“You’re cold.”

“Yeah well, me shirt’s currently on ya face.” He mumbled.

“How’s it looking now?”

He put the peas down and gazed intently at her cheek bone. “It’ uh…” Tucking her hair behind her ear, his eyes met hers again. His top teeth sank gently into his lower lip as he stroked her hair softly.

Rae remained completely still, mesmerised by his exquisite face and the feel of his breath against her face. She watched him let out a shaky breath, then he swallowed. “It’ll bruise a bit but not too bad. I…I am so sorry.” He stuttered and finally released his hold and slipped to his feet.

“Better put these back.” He waved the peas at her.

Taking the hint, Rae got to her feet, allowing him to open the freezer again.

“Fancy a beer and some tunes then?” He asked, nodding his head towards the house.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Wandering back into the living room, they were surprised to find it deserted whilst cheers and clapping resounded loudly from upstairs. Finn rounded up a couple of bottles of beer, whilst Rae picked through the pile of mix tapes to find the one she really rated.

As the music began to play, Finn sauntered in, beers in hand, then his face crumpled at a little.

“You missed out “Belting Tunes #2”.”

“Are you telling me you made a series of tapes that are meant to be played in order?” Rae rolled her eyes, then raised her eyebrows dramatically at Finn.

She noted the faint rosy tinge that spread delightfully from his cheeks and down his neck.

“So…uh… wha’ do ya think of this one?”

“’S ‘okay.” She replied with a shrug.

“Okay?” He raised his eyebrows and then plonked himself next to her on the large sofa, tossing his damp shirt onto the arm.

“Well, I’m not really sure you can put “Firestarter” next to “She’s Electric”. I mean I know they’re both upbeat but stylistically, they’re bloody different. It’s a bit like putting Reggae next to….to The Cure.”

A corner of his mouth curled up, as Finn turned his body slightly towards her.

“Seriously? I mean can’t you hear the influence of reggae beats on some of The Cure’s tracks like Fire in Cairo?”

A noise that was part scoff, part laugh escaped Rae’s mouth unbidden. But Finn began to chuckle.

“S’pose that’s another one we’ll have ta agree to disagree on.”

Unable to prevent a grin forming, Rae bumped her shoulder against his. When they settled again, she felt the warmth of the length of his thigh parallel to, and possibly, pressing against hers. Was he leaning against her a little, or was she just imagining it?

As the next track began, and most of her beer had been sunk, Rae decided to be brave, to be a little more comfortable with Finn, and slouched her position such that her head half lay on his shoulder. There was no shying away from this contact, no leaping up to get another drink. Instead, Finn carefully prepared a roll up on, using the thigh nearest hers as a table. Unfortunately, first the packet of filters and then the rizlas tumbled her away, his fingers brushing her thigh when he retrieved them.

She was happily singingly softly to Blur and he had just finished smoking when there was a shift from upstairs: clearly whatever had been keeping the crowd occupied was now over. This was shortly followed by Chop’s distinct shout.

“I’ll find him. Finn, Rae…..we’re about to play truth or dare!” His voice was getting ever louder as he continued to shout.

Finn and Rae both looked at each other in horrified silence, and simultaneously cried “Table?”

Finn took his shirt in one hand and Rae’s hand in his other as they ran across the room and dived under the table. Hearts racing, bright eyed and fingers entwined, smiles danced across their lips as Chop entered the room.


End file.
